JEWELRY DRAWER

I have a lot of jewelry that I don’t wear.

I love jewelry—I just forget to put it on or even think about adorning myself with it. But there is one piece of jewelry I wear every day that you’d never notice unless you ask to see it. My husband, Dick, writes a little number for me every day on a small piece of paper that I carry in my pocket. It represents the number of days I have been sober.

As I write this, I have 6000 days of sobriety. I used to keep these numbers in my jewelry drawer. Now the numbers have taken over that drawer and the jewels have moved to another drawer.

This is the most precious piece of jewelry I own and wear.

If I don’t have my sobriety, I don’t have anything that is precious in my life.

Dick has made these numbers for me since day one. What a beautiful commitment from him to me. He is a precious jewel too! We’re doing this sobriety journey together. He helps keep me accountable.

I know that some alcoholics in recovery don’t have that kind of support, but we do have each other on this path of sobriety—alcoholics together staying sober one day at a time—talking to each other, keeping each other accountable. We help each other make our sobriety the “number one priority” in our lives. That is our most precious piece of jewelry we wear every day. This jewel may not be visible, but you can wear your sobriety too, by telling me and others your number of days of sobriety. We all need to hear it.

If you look around, you will notice all of the jewels that are there for you when you continue to stay sober and show up for life—the precious jewel God has given you!

You are the jewel.

Don’t hide it in a drawer or lock it in a safe—wear your sobriety with excitement and pride. You earn it each day, just by showing up for yourself and others.

Sober. Whole. Restored. Precious.

“Teach us to number our days, that we may gain a heart of wisdom.” Psalm 90:12

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LIFEVEST

I don’t like the word “hate.” I rarely have situations that call for that word.

I hate the disease of addiction.

There it is.

Addiction is the thing that stands between me and my access to God—prevents me from becoming the person I was meant to be in God’s plan for me. The love of God is accessed only when I turn to Him and let go of the prison of addiction. I also hate watching others suffer from this malady.

I heard a woman say in a recovery meeting yesterday, “We can’t change what we don’t acknowledge.” Whew. First step of the 12-Step process—

“We admitted we were powerless over alcohol, that our lives have become unmanageable.”

There is the lifevest—recovery through the 12-Step process.

I get to put on the lifevest of recovery when I admit I have a problem. This is not “neat.” It’s messy. We have to admit there is a problem, reach out for help, and then we have to take action, first, in our own hearts. And, then physically, move forward into something different. Step out of victim role and into owning our situation, then our lives. Not an easy move. It just takes one small step to begin.

And, the lifevest of recovery is a size large—it’s vast. Available to all. It includes meetings (now online/Zoom), talking with others like ourselves, working with a sponsor to guide us through the 12-step process, prayer—and lastly, it includes me. I have to take action. Put on the lifevest.

I think of addiction as the enemy. I don’t have a chance, if I just let the enemy win. I need to take that first step to begin the battle, knowing God is on my side and you are on my side.

Admit.

Submit.

Commit.

I did it. So can you. We can do it together.

“Therefore, confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”

James 5:16

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CIRCUMSTANCES

I don’t usually start with scripture, but today this one struck me. The theme of ALL.

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is God’s will for you in Christ Jesus.” 1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Lots of stuff to be upset about these days, right?

Circumstances. Good. Bad.

This verse says, “...give thanks in all circumstances...”

What?

Yes. All. Not some.

My drinking was all circumstance-induced. That was my solution. Circumstances in this world got me every time. Some of them were big—death. Some of them were small—broken shoe laces. All were excuses for me to check out.

Since I turned my will and life over to the care of God many days ago, I know that I need His help with all that I do. We can’t do this alone on this earth. There will always be circumstances. Excuses. Reasons to get mad, look the other way, run, check out, drink, use. I heard a person say in a meeting last night, “When I drink, all my choices go away.” This is true for me.

No choice.

Now that I am sober, I have a choice— to engage with others, with life and with my God. When I give thanks in ALL my circumstances, I get to feel the feelings, express myself, share my upset, share my experiences, get them out of my head. Help someone else, feel grateful that I am not useless, speak my truth—which might just make a difference for somebody else. This is God’s will for me. To step out of victimhood, into the clear and present choices I now have.

Today I am 5989 days sober. I am rejoicing that I can show up and be thankful in all circumstances.

For me—and, for you.

Oh, yes, and Pray continually.

I am praying for you today through it all.

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GRATEFUL

One morning last week as I was out on my deck watering the plants, I was feeling a little down. Wondering why, when all around me, there was beauty as far as I could see. As I heard my pastor say this weekend,

“I was moving into my anger and setting up camp there.”

At that moment, a hummingbird came and hovered right in front of my face about five feet away. She just stayed there with her bright pink head shimmering in the sunlight. Tears came to my eyes. The wonder of nature—snapping me back—it might as well have been a baseball bat! But, it was the gentle nudge of nature to wake me to focus on God.

And, being grateful.

For being sober one more day. For being able to witness nature in all of its splendor. For my precious and devoted husband who always reminds me that everything will be ok. My dog, who reminds me of unconditional love. My family. My health. That I am forgiven. That I can begin anew I don’t have to live in the shame of the past.

Grateful that I don’t have to drink over circumstances anymore. That I can show up sober to help my fellows stay sober, just like others did for me—BECAUSE of my weaknesses—to show them we are alike and that they can do this life sober too.

As I look around, I can see all the evil forces in the world trying to steal my joy. I believe there is a spiritual battle going on that we don’t see. It all depends on what we focus on. Angry people, deceptive plans, crazy thinking displayed in wrongful actions—are all there to distract me from what is really important. I am grateful to God for the small things on which to focus.

My husband brought this quote to my attention:

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life...It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, and a stranger into a friend.” Melody Beattle

Choosing gratitude today.

How about you?

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”

John 16:33

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STANDING IN A BUCKET

The first women’s recovery meeting I walked into in when I got sober, I was definitely home. All of the women said out loud what I was thinking. They WERE me. There was a beautiful woman there who had close to 40 years of sobriety. A beautiful, charming, wise, woman. She brought sunshine and joy when she showed up.

She was an angel. Some know who I am talking about.

Her words ring in my head today. She said the most amazing things that I remembered and carried with me. How could this beautiful and “together” woman be an alcoholic? I wanted what she had. I looked forward to when she would share each time and then laugh, smile, and cry on the way home thinking about what she’d said—and her. How did she stay sober that long? One day at a time, of course. Her spirit and light lives in me and sits there in the room with me even now. She keeps me coming back even though she is gone. God was shining through her and is now shining through me. She was my sponsor’s sponsor, so, she was my grand sponsor. Delightful lineage.

One of the funniest (and wisest) things she said was, “When you’re standing in a bucket of crap, don’t jump up and down.”

It made everyone laugh in the room. I was laughing too. Confused, at first, why she said that in an meeting for alcoholics, but now, it makes perfect sense.

A great metaphor for my life. I spent so much time jumping up and down in the bucket in my drinking days. The drama of it all, you know? If I accidentally stepped into the bucket of crap, I would ask, “Why me? and complain about poor me...and pour me another drink”— and off I went drinking to deal with it, fix it— (translation: make it worse.)

In sobriety, I have a new perspective. I have learned how to stand still in the bucket of crap, weigh the situation, not react, but respond calmly. Now, I ask, “ok, what’s the next right thing for me to do?” After I have paused and prayed, I call a few buddies in recovery, including my sponsor, go to a meeting or two or three—then I am able to confidently step out of the bucket and keep walking forward. I didn’t say it was easy, but behaviors can change. Stuff happens. It’s our response to it that makes the difference for us and for others. We do have the ability to change.

The “not jumping up and down” is the key to my sanity and serenity when I face dilemmas now.

At the end of the meeting when we would hold hands and say the Lord’s Prayer, we would always shout together, “Keep coming back, it works!” Instead, she would always say, rather loudly,

“Keep coming back, I NEED YOU!”

Today, I am jumping up and down less.

Today, I am praying I might be somebody else’s angel, like this special woman was to me.

Today, I keep coming back because I need you!

“Do not forget to show hospitality to strangers, for by so doing some people have shown hospitality to angels without knowing it.”

Hebrews 13:2

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SERVICE

I am very grateful for all of the men and women who have served in the military or died in service for our country.

I was thinking the other day how service is such a big part of my sobriety.

Why?

Because the quickest way out of my own head is to be of service to somebody else. I don’t have to join the military to serve. I can help someone in the smallest way. When I am serving, I am thinking about somebody else’s needs other than my own.

Not “poor me, poor me—pour me another drink!” but—Into action.

A few weeks ago, I heard my pastor speak of service this way, “Our actions show our theology.”

Yes.

Help somebody else today and watch the ripple action of service carry forward to the next person through the one you served.

Try it.

Stay sober this day.

“God will not forget your work and the love you have shown him as you have helped his people and continue to help them.”

Hebrews 6:10

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EVIDENCE

If I look at all that is wrong in the world, I could be upset a lot of the time, right?

I have to remember the miracles that I have experienced in my life to lift my thinking and stay in joy day by day. One being, how I was pretty much “struck sober” 5,961 days ago. I say struck sober, because it was an instantaneous lifting of the obsession for alcohol. It was a miracle because I had tried to stop drinking over and over again for many years. When I finally surrendered to God, and asked Him to help me, He lifted that obsession.

Not—“I want you, God, to get me sober, but I don’t really want to stop drinking...”—

But, truly, “Ok, God, I am finished with this insanity, I am ready for you to take it.”

On my knees. Praying. Gone.

When days went by without drinking, then weeks, then years—I realized this was a miracle.

Evidence that God was real.

It opened my eyes to LOOK for the evidence of God’s miracles all around me. So, to lift me from a funk, I just have to gather evidence. It is there. All I have to do is look to confirm—

A beautiful sunrise. a hummingbird’s wings flapping right in front of me. The waves constantly and consistently crashing on the shore. Watching a friend get sober and stay sober. A child being born. Death happening and not having to drink over it and showing up for another who needs me. Telling my truth and having that make a difference for someone else today.

If you are looking for evidence to NOT believe that God is doing miracles, look around. You will find it.

If you are looking for the evidence TO BELIEVE that God is real and is doing miracles, all you have to do is open your eyes and look around.

You will find it.

I promise.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.”

Matthew 7:7

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EXPECTATIONS

Expectations are planned disappointments.

Think about it. If we go into any given situation with expectations of what should happen, we set ourselves up for disappointment if we don’t get the expected outcome.

I am really good at this. I am trying not to be. It’s one of the things I used to drink over. It didn’t turn out how I expected (or wanted it to). I was constantly setting myself up for failure. What a great excuse to check out.

On the other hand, when you put your trust and faith in God you can expect that He will be with you. God loves us all and only wants what is best for us, which may mean trials or blessings. In trials there is growth.

How do I stop my brain from expecting what I want and shift my thinking over to being in God’s will?

I have to consciously go into whatever is next with an open mind and literally say, “OK, God, show me the next right move that you want me to make. Your Will, not mine, be done.”

Then trust God for the result—this is the hard part.

I don’t have to like it, but I do get to look for the gifts along the way—

And there are many.

When you learn to live without expectations, everything is a gift.


“My soul, waits silently for God alone, For my expectation is from Him.”
Psalm 62:5

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STAYING STUCK

The best way to stay stuck is to keep your secrets.

What?

The secret to my sobriety is that my sobriety is not a secret.

Addiction is shrouded in secrecy, lies and darkness. Separation from God. Sobriety is staying in the light of the truth.

I become unstuck when I step into the light of the truth.

My prayer is to provide hope and inspiration for you if you are seeking to break the bonds of addiction and become the person God meant you to be. You can do this.

If this blog today can touch one heart, help save one soul, and lead someone back to the path where they will find God—then it has served its purpose.

You are important. Life is now.

Step into the sunlight. Ask God for help this moment.

I did and I am forever grateful for His Grace.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you. For everyone who asks receives; the one who seeks finds; and to the one who knocks, the door will be opened.”
Matthew 7:7-8

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BECOMING THE CHANGE

While driving the other day, I heard a song on the radio. I didn’t know the song, but the lyric that screamed at me was this line:

“I couldn’t make the change, so You became the change in me.”

Wow, that requires surrender.

My controls on my life and behaviors (my drinking) were not working—however hard I worked on convincing myself that they were.

Surrender to gain power.

Once I let go and let God in to do the work in me, the power to do the work that I needed to do now, was accessible to me. It became easier to walk in that direction of change. It was not necessarily logical. In fact, it was rather miraculous.

I didn’t have to do this life on my own power. Well, that’s a relief.

In the literature of our program of recovery there is a line that says, God did for me what I could not do for myself. My upbringing was all about being responsible and making sure you followed the rules and did everything “right”—ok, what is “right”? Isn’t that relative to what the rules are and the rule-maker?

When I figured out God wanted me to succeed and that He was rooting for me—not here to “trip me up” and punish me for bad behavior, I realized that the guidelines/rules were there for me to succeed, not to fail.

Grace.

It’s not about right or wrong, success or failure—it is about figuring out that we have a choice each moment to do the NEXT right thing for that moment based on the information we have before us and trusting that if I surrender my will, God’s Will, can—and will be done.

Collaboration. The pressure is off. I don’t have to perform. I have a power source to lean on and depend upon. My weakness doesn’t have to define me. It can be an example for others that they can do this life sober too—

With God’s help.

And, I will be here for you too.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
2 Corinthians 12:9

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DO YOU WANT TO GET WELL?

Recovery is for people who want it.

Not for people who need it.

When I finally chose sobriety for myself, I wanted that for everyone else. The relief that said—I don’t have to carry this by myself anymore.

While sponsoring other women, my sponsor always tells me, “Heidi, they have to want their sobriety more than you want it for them.”

I can’t force them to get there. I remember being so disappointed when someone I was sponsoring relapsed yet again. I took it personally, like there was something I could have done or said to change that outcome. My sponsor said to me, “Heidi, you are not that powerful”

Oh, yeah. I am not God.

Here is what I CAN do: I can pray for them. Ask them if they want to get sober. Stand ready to help. Listen when they reach out. Take them to a meeting to get connected with others.

I am reminded of the story in the Bible (John 5:5-8), where a man who has been an invalid for thirty-eight years comes to the healing pool. He never makes it into the pool to get healed in all of that time—hmmm.

Jesus comes over to him and says, “Do you want to get well?”

The invalid says, “Sir, I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

I never looked at the scripture in this way before.—The man’s reply is an excuse! Boy, did I have excuses why I could not get sober for many years !

Jesus tells him to “Pick up your mat and walk.”

We have to pick up our own mat and walk out this life.

We have to want to get well.

Do you want to get well?

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”
Galatians 6:2

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F.E.A.R

F alse E vidence A ppearing R eal

If I look around in the world, I can find all the evidence I need to prove that I should stay in fear. It takes a measure of trust and faith to not buy into the false evidence I see all around me. Lately, I have experienced some irrational fear in reaction to circumstances happening in the world.

I can’t be in fear and faith at the same time.

Fear—tells us that we are small, powerless, and separate.

Faith—affirms that we are great, creative, and connected.

I can change the acronym...

Fear Everything And Run.

or

Face Everything And Recover.

Which voice do you choose to be your guide?

My God is bigger than fear. I choose faith as I step forward to live in the Light.

Oh God, You paint the sky with miracles in mind. My tearful eyes joyfully receive the awesome stroke of your brush. Thank you for another day of sobriety so that I can see Your wonders before me every day.

Won’t you join me in the Light of Faith?

“Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

John 14:27

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FEELINGS VS FACTS

I was in a meeting listening to a woman tell her story about recovery from her extreme addiction. It had taken her from a fairly normal life with kids, to losing everything, including her kids, and then to living on the streets. She was telling of the facts that were happening this week because of her sobriety, recovery and dependence on God— instead of her dependence on her drug of choice.

She talked about her feelings and how they had dominated her decision-making when she was using and how that had led her to some pretty bad choices. Now, her focus was on the facts as they were—acceptance, rather than denial—and not focusing on the feelings she had about the facts that were happening. There is something in between acceptance and denial—the pause.

That is where God enters—if you let Him. Discernment and then clarity can only be gained when time passes and you are not in the emotions or the reality of just straight facts.

Feelings pass. Facts remain.

I lose sight of this too. Especially now, in all that has happened in 2020. It really depends on what I focus on in any given time period that determines my attitude for the day.

My pastor was teaching last week on how we can be Undaunted in our faith amidst the storm of negative events that happen to us or around us. He mentioned Francis Collins’ book, “The Language of God.” Francis Collins is a brilliant scientist. I loved this book and read it fifteen years ago. He deals in facts. He was an atheist, turned believer because of the nature of the facts! He said the goal of his book was “to explore a pathway toward a sober and intellectually sound integration of scientific and spiritual perspectives—seen and unseen.”

Speaking of himself, Francis Collins said, at one point, he had, “Willful blindness and arrogance.” with regard to his faith or lack of it.

Boy, was that me, when I was drinking. Willful. Blind. Arrogant. And, I was already a believer!!

Drinking was my solution when I could not deal with the facts and I had added my emotional overload to it—death, conflict, a broken shoelace—easier to drink and just check out. Now, in sobriety, I have learned to pray for wisdom, wait until the feelings pass, then make the best decision I know how to make in response to the facts before me.

God designed both—feelings and facts. The interpretation of the feelings toward to facts takes help. Our choices become clearer in life when we realize that we are not doing this alone—we have others to support us and we can surrender to God when we are overwhelmed with the emotions in response to the facts.

I choose now to live somewhere in that sober pause, where God can enter and give me peace.

There is no weakness in surrender, only humility.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”
2 Corinthians 12:9

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NO MORE EXCUSES

I had plenty of excuses to drink. Everything was a good reason. Then, I didn’t even need to have an excuse to drink. Upsetting circumstances were always the thing that would take me down deep into drinking.

When I got sober, I learned that good and bad stuff still happens in life. I realized that circumstances could not be my excuse anymore.

Someone said to me, “You have what you want in life or—you have the excuses why you don’t have what you want in life.” That was a powerful thought for me. I had a say in how it went. I knew that I was powerless over alcohol, and that I needed help from God every day to choose to live without drinking. I also have a responsibility to choose to live my life again—or anew—without excuses.

I will always have circumstances that challenge me. It is how I handle them that matters most now that alcohol is not the solution anymore.

I was fifty years old before I quit drinking. Many get it long before I did. I guess I am a slow learner. I tried for many years to stop drinking on my own and could not do it. When I finally turned my will and life over to God and asked for help, that is when it all fell into place. The miracle began.

Now, my life is beyond my wildest dreams. Still challenging, but I can do it all with the help of others like myself and with trust in God. I don’t have to understand how it works, I just have to have faith. When each new day dawns, I am grateful for another chance to be present, sober and help somebody else.

If I can do this, you can too!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding;
in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight.”
Proverbs 3:5-6

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BE STILL

I am posting early this week as we are heading out for a short vacation. I won’t have a Friday blog this week. Back to you next week!

Today is a simple message that I plan to practice and I hope you will too.

“Be still and know that I am God.”

Psalm 46:10

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FEELING NO PAIN

I loved it—feeling no pain. Alcohol did that for me. Don’t we all love to avoid pain?—insults, slander, fear of rejection, not measuring up, judgement, disappointment, loss, and grief—big rocks of pain we carry around.

Alcohol was my solution. It was my only way out of feeling that pain. It felt like I was stepping on land mines of pain that only exploded within. Nobody could see the damage the pain was causing inside. I was busy walking around with skin on and a raw soul that was bleeding internally.

God’s grace is the only power that breaks through the veneer of perfection and performance on our outside to get to the vast sea of shame on the inside, if we let Him in. I heard someone say,

“Alcoholism is suicide on the installment plan.”

That makes it real.

I took this photo of a bar in Zambia, the “Be Yourself Bar.” That used to be a picture of my truth. I needed alcohol to be myself, to make my inside match my outside. The trouble is that it was a lie.

When I replaced alcohol with God as my solution—the healing began. My inside actually started to match my outside and I became the authentic me. The me that God intended. I could be myself without hiding. I get to feel the pain and press through it with others like myself and realize that I am not alone.

I can hand all the pain over to God.

What a relief.

“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart,
and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

Matthew 11:28-30

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SURRENDER VS SELF WILL

My husband pointed out this cartoon in the local paper this past Monday. It made me giggle. I thought you would appreciate the humor.

I have been struggling with being a positive source of energy for my fellows as there have been so many of my people in sobriety having MAJOR  setbacks and struggles beyond staying sober. I don’t want to jump into the pit of despair with them. I need to remember to come alongside them and that there IS hope—to be that light of hope for others.

Then, later that evening, in a Zoom online meeting, I heard the person speaking say,
“I was humbled by the beating administered by my own self will.”

Wow.

That struck home. I literally had forgotten to surrender to God—to plug into a higher voltage, so-to-speak. That power that fills me up and keeps me going to be able to help others.

That plug-in will cancel any beat down by my own self will!

I start the day with the third step prayer:

”God, I offer myself to Thee, to build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. 
Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. 
Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness
to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of Life. 
May I do Thy will always! Amen”

The line that helps me serve others best is, “Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I might better do thy will.”

Gets me out of God’s way. So He can use me.

Try it. It works.

“...Your kingdom come, Your will be done, on earth as it is in heaven.”
Matthew 6:10

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BEAUTY FROM THE ASHES

Well, if there was ever a time to drink over something, it is now.

But, don't worry, I am not going to drink over any of this—and, I hope you won't either. If I can do it, so can you.

So much sadness and loss. So many people losing everything—not only from COVID repercussions of the shut down, but now, from the fires raging in our Santa Cruz Mountains and all across the state. 

Talk about helplessness. Powerlessness. 

God is doing something. I don't know what—I need to trust. What I DO know is that I am available to serve in whatever capacity I can. 

I am sober, whole, present for someone in need.

There will be beauty from the ashes.

"The Spirit of the Sovereign Lord is on me,
      because the Lord has anointed me
      to proclaim good news to the poor.
He has sent me to bind up the brokenhearted...
to comfort all who mourn,
      and provide for those who grieve in Zion—
to bestow on them a crown of beauty
      instead of ashes,
the oil of joy
      instead of mourning,
and a garment of praise
      instead of a spirit of despair.”

Isaiah 61:1-3

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POWER OF PRAYER

My pastor has been talking about the Lord’s Prayer, phrase by phrase, for the last month. The very last line is, “...For Yours is the Kingdom and the Power and the Glory forever, Amen.” My pastor talked about the Glory being, our “crisis redeemed.”

I was struck by that, as I am a crisis redeemed in my story of victory over alcohol. But, my story is a “so what” unless it is told. That is where the Glory part comes in. God gets the credit for the crisis redeemed and others get to be helped when I talk about it.

Prayer is one of my most powerful tools. People often get intimidated about prayer, thinking they have to “know how to do it” before actually praying. No. Just open your mouth and let the words fall out. God knows your heart and will hear and receive all that you need to ask Him or tell Him.

Start simply by trying these three two-word prayers,

“Thank you.”
“Help me.”
“What’s next?”

Prayer is talking to God. When I go to meetings and hear others tell their stories, God talks to me.

I start the day in prayer by thanking God for everything in my life—sometimes writing down a gratitude list in a journal. I ask for the courage to say yes to all the things that God puts in my path. I ask Him to guide and direct my thinking and to be mindful of others and for where I might be of service—how my crisis redeemed can help someone else!

At the end of the day, I thank God again for awakening me to my new purpose. I pray for forgiveness for the things I should have done, but did not do out of fear. I ask God for the strength to be bold, more ready to walk into situations where He wants me and to know when to stay silent and pray for people in need.

So powerful. Prayer works. Prayer heals. Try it. Practice it.

“Rejoice always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances”
1 Thessalonians 5:16-18 (NIV)

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WEEDS AND SPIDERWEBS

Two things we can count on.

In the morning, I go out to get the paper. A brand new beautiful spider web on the man gate greets me. I dutifully wipe it away with my hand and bring in the paper. Next day a completely new one is spun again in the same place.

Same with weeds. I water all of the plants in the garden and marvel at how fast the weeds return, even after hand-weeding the previous day. Hmmm...I guess I need to stay on this thing every day.

Just like my sobriety.

If I don’t do something to ensure my sobriety daily, I will surely be overtaken by the weeds and cobwebs—in my mind! So, what are the weeds and cobwebs in my mind and how do I keep them pulled and wiped away?

By daily habits. Someone said in a meeting I attended on Zoom the other day, “My sponsor said that I have to chase after my sobriety with the same intensity that I chased after alcohol.” That struck a chord with me. I need my habits of staying sober to match or out-match my habits of keeping my alcoholism in place. Working and reworking the Twelve Steps of AA, particularly Step Four and Step Ten.

Step Four of the Twelve Steps of AA is a severe weeding process:

“Made a searching and fearless moral inventory of ourselves.”
and its Biblical counterpart,
“Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.” Lamentations 3:40

Step Ten of the Twelve Steps of AA is more like wiping away the cobwebs daily:

“Continued to take personal inventory, and when we were wrong, promptly admitted it.”
and its Biblical counterpart,
“So if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you do not fall.” 1 Corinthians 10:12

My daily reprieve from alcoholism is this:

• Pray the 3rd step prayer upon awakening.
• Be of service—reach out to someone else who may need help.
• Go to a meeting (now, mostly Zoom online)
• Write a gratitude list, shifting my focus for the day.
• Go about my day knowing that God is directing my path
• End the day in thanks to God for my sobriety and joyful life without alcohol

Oh, and sometimes, I call my sponsor too. Ha Ha. Yes, do that.

“Give freely of what you find and join us. We shall be with you in the Fellowship of the Spirit, and you will surely meet some of us as you trudge the Road of Happy Destiny. May God bless you and keep you - until then.”

Page164 of Big Book of Alcoholics Anonymous

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