TETHERED TO REALITY

My husband and I were talking yesterday morning right after we woke up. I was very upset about the dream I had just had. It was very vivid and real for me. The events were some that I thought I could not make up on my own, so I tried to add meaning to them. I was trying to tie them to my real life today. Was I just processing fears I had not acknowledged while awake? Or, was this the truth?

He said to me, “I would not worry. I don’t think your dreams are necessarily tethered to reality.” 

It immediately calmed me down. I always try and connect things and then I drive myself crazy when I cannot figure it out. He is very good at dismissing them as “just dreams.”

It made me think about the fact that it was like that in my alcoholism. When I was actively drinking, I was—untethered to reality. Trying to figure things out while intoxicated. The deeper into the alcohol I got, the further from reality I was. The alcohol would take me from the real world for a bit—until I sobered up again—reality smacked me in the face all too soon. Things I had left unresolved in my mind when I checked out were still there to be dealt with when I sobered up. Being untethered from reality for a while was temporary relief, but didn’t actually solve anything.

When I got sober and realized I could do this life without alcohol, I found new ways of coping that were tethered to the real world. My behaviors had to change. My escapes now are walking the dog (prayer time), Going to a meeting (connecting with others) and engaging in my real life in this moment. Staying tethered to reality right in front of me.

In the 12-step process, we review a lot of our past which brings up a lot of embarrassment, shame and behaviors we are not proud of acting out while drunk. We get to clean up all those things so we can be “untethered from the past” which is not our reality now. Letting go of that so we can show up for others in our sober minds today.

There is a section in our reading called, The Promises, “…No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear….” That’s where we break the chains of the past and begin to live in the real world of today and sober reality. 

I need to trust God to to keep me here in today. In our program, we read The Promises below, at the end of a lot of meetings. It gives us hope. These play out in our lives as we get through our 12 Steps with our sponsor—known as the 9th Step Promises: 

The Promises: “If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity, and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves. Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us –sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize, if we trust God and work for them.”

Today I will show up in the real world the best I can. I will stay in God’s Will for me and to help others along the way. I am hoping to be tethered to reality in these ways—

• To God

• To Myself

• To Others in the real world.

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HUMILITY

The spiritual principle in Step Seven of the 12 Steps is humility.

STEP SEVEN: Humbly asked Him to remove our shortcomings.

Humility is one of the most challenging qualities a person can achieve. In a world that celebrates pride, self-promotion, and personal achievement, choosing humility requires intentionality and spiritual discipline.

God enables us to see our sin, detest our sin, desire its removal, and enable its removal. Only His power can change us. God will perform spiritual surgery and remove the impulse to sin and our defects of character and shortcomings—even those we want to keep!

Too often our prayers are selfish, prayed with little thought. Such prayers have little likelihood of being granted. We need to ask for God’s will on whatever we ask for in prayer.

Humility is not thinking less of yourself, but thinking of yourself less and recognizing your dependence on God. It opens the heart to God’s guidance, allows for genuine relationships, and fosters peace within.

Be humble.

Pray.

Breathe.

John 3:30

“He must become greater; I must become less.”

A BETTER "HIGH"

It’s right there in the Bible—a better high.

I love this scripture:

“Do not get drunk on wine, which leads to debauchery. Instead, be filled with the Spirit.”

Ephesians 5:18

I have a Life Application Study Bible. It has an “Explanatory Notes” section at the bottom of the page that explains what the verse is about. 

Here is the explanation of the verse in the notes section: 

5:18 “Paul contrasts getting drunk with wine, which produces a temporary “high,” to being filled with the Spirit, which produces lasting joy. Getting drunk with wine is associated with the old way of life and its selfish desires. With God/Spirit, we have a better joy, higher and longer-lasting to cure our depression, monotony, or tension. We should not be concerned with how much of the Holy Spirit we have, but how much of US the Holy Spirit has. Submit yourself daily to his leading and draw constantly on HIS power.”

I love this. In the explanation Paul is talking about Step One and Step Twelve of our 12-steps of recovery!

Step 1: Admitted we were powerless and that our lives had become unmanageable.

Step 12: Having had a spiritual awakening as the result of these steps, we tried to carry the message to others who still suffer and practice these principles in all of our affairs.

The spiritual awakening is that I don’t have to submit to my old way of life of drinking when I put down the alcohol (selfish desire) and submit myself to God’s will. 

The power that I receive from Holy Spirit power is a high that can lead me out of that need for the temporary high of alcohol and into lasting joy.

The first steps to experience this “alternative high” in recovery:

Admit I am powerless.

Ask for God’s help to stop my addiction.

Reach out to others and go to a meeting.

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YOU'RE NOT ALONE.

I heard a woman say in a recovery meeting, that she didn’t come here to find a “design for living” she started coming to meetings because: she could not stop drinking and maybe these people all knew something she didn’t. We don’t get to recovery meetings on a “winning streak.” We get here because our life is not working the way we are living it. We came to find a new solution other than alcohol or drugs for our lives.

The magic of what we find in recovery is each other—connection.

History is the past.

We come to meetings to hear another person tell their story now, in the present. In hearing it, we can find the hope for the future—We learn that there is a way out—

Out of addiction. Out of the patterns and behaviors that keep us stuck and without hope.

This is why I love meetings. Telling our story out loud in a meeting is the magic part. The details of our stories are vastly different. But, the general thoughts and behaviors are the same. I can find things to identify with that help me know that I am not alone in my struggle. 

When you tell me you have experienced coming out to the other side of addiction without using alcohol or drugs—you help me. When you get your sobriety chip or a certain number of days, it is a celebration. For you. And for me.

Your victory is mine too—together we celebrate that it can be done in community. We need each other. We find that actually taking these 12-steps becomes a “design for living” and after going through them with our sponsor, we realize that we can also show others the way.

Your victory story, tells me I can do it, too. I also hear God’s voice speak to me through you in meetings. That is service on your part and you don’t even know it in that moment. That’s why I have to show up for others. For them to hear God’s voice through me. 

I would love to celebrate our victories, so we can live this life sober and free—

Together.

You are not alone.

Come and join us.

"And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another.” 

Hebrews 10:24-25

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JUDGEMENT

I am amazed at how many judgements I can make about others in a very short timespan. And, I notice that I judge more when I am upset with myself. Turning my anger outward at others for blame. That’s easier. I separate myself when I do this. It is a character defect that I don’t want to have any more. I will pray humbly for God to remove that one. (Step 7)

I notice when I am peaceful and centered spiritually, I don’t judge, or if I do, I can correct myself quickly and give them over to God and pray for them. Stay in my lane. Take it inward for self-correction and then back to God for guidance.

I learned of a reading in the Big Book of AA early in sobriety. Such a great piece of wisdom. It has helped me along the way, specifically for resentments I have for others.

Page 552 in the Big Book of AA, “Freedom From Bondage” (story.)

“If you have a resentment you want to be free of, if you will pray for the person or the thing that you resent, you will be free. If you will ask in prayer for everything you want for yourself to be given to them, you will be free. Ask for their health, their prosperity, their happiness, and you will be free. Even when you don’t really want it for them and your prayers are only words and you don’t mean it, go ahead and do it anyway. Do it every day for two weeks, and you will find you have come to mean it and to want it for them, and you will realize that where you used to feel bitterness and resentment and hatred, you now feel compassionate understanding and love.”

It worked for me then, and it has worked for me many times since, and it will work for me every time I am willing to work it. Sometimes I have to ask first for the willingness, but it too always comes. And because it works for me, it will work for all of us. As another great man says, “The only real freedom a human being can ever know is doing what you ought to do because you want to do it.”

I want to ask God for more room to grant others the GRACE that I received. I would be willing to bet that someone has prayed page 552 over a resentment for me!

Try it.

It really does work.

It worked for me.

“Do not judge, and you will not be judged. Do not condemn, and you will not be condemned. Forgive, and you will be forgiven.”

Luke 6:37

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WHAT WE RESIST, PERSISTS

This photo is so sweet and reminds me of how my recovery works. 

I’ll tell you why.

This beautiful flower coming up between the bricks of our patio is called a “volunteer.” There is a pot with luscious soil not a foot away with that same plant flourishing in it. This little volunteer, pushed up through the bricks with minimal soil and little chance of it growing there. It was determined, despite the odds—accepting it’s conditions, admitting it was powerless over where the seed landed—sprouting in what seemed like unmanageable circumstances. 

This is Step One: “Admitted we were powerless over alcohol and our lives had become unmanageable.”

I learned that what I resist, persists. Think about it. If I resist something, I have an adverse reaction—resistance. It causes me to think about it and mull it over and over in my head. I don’t get resolution about it, causing it to persist, until I accept the situation is not working and resolve it—

This is how it was with my drinking for years. I resisted loved ones’ concerns for my excessive drinking and pushed back, “I don’t have a problem. It’s under control.” So, my condition persisted.

Definition of resist:  to exert force in opposition

Definition of persist: to continue to do something or to try to do something even though it is difficult or other people want you to stop.

Now—I am like the flower in the hardscape. I volunteer to show up for my recovery, despite the hard conditions or circumstances that come up in my life. I am not resisting anymore or finding reasons or excuses to hide and escape from things that are hard. Or, people who are difficult. I am not resisting others’ concerns or for help they may want to give me. I have a chance of resolving it and responding in a healthy way and flourishing in my life—but, I can’t do it alone.

If I can do this life sober, so can you. 

I am not saying it’s easy but it is simple. Like the flower metaphor, there are people, close by beckoning us to plant into the rich soil of a sober life, to live and to flourish among others like ourselves.

Ask for help—from others and from God. 

It starts with you.

Then, volunteer to show up and help somebody else.

“Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.” 

Matthew 7:7

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NEVER FORGET

Amen.

Not much needs to be added to this photo. God got me sober 8,040 days ago today so that I could help others get sober and show the way out.

It was 22 years ago on July 12, 2004 that I stopped drinking alcohol. At first, it was all about me. Now, my purpose is to show others that they can live this life sober and then turn around and help others do the same. I am grateful.

Make that decision today.

I did.

I will never forget.

“This is the day the Lord has made; We will rejoice and be glad in it.”

Psalm 118:24

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HAPPY 4TH—HAVE A PLAN

Happy 4th of July weekend!

I don’t know about you, but parties, holidays, weddings, you name it…any type of celebration was an excuse to drink for me in the past. I could hide the amount I was drinking because there was so many other people and they were drinking too. They weren’t watching or counting my drinks and everybody was doing it—all excuses. 

My obsession was lifted when I surrendered to God and stopped drinking. At first, it was hard to be in a celebration setting around other people who were drinking alcohol. Not because I wanted it, I just didn’t know how to be around others who were having fun and drinking without me joining into the drinking part. 

When I first got sober, I thought that I would never have fun again if I wasn’t drinking. Not true. I had to show up many times in a row sober to know that I could do it—to know that it was possible. 

For all of us that are already in sobriety, the upcoming 4th of July Celebration is just another day to show up sober and still be able to celebrate without alcohol. The alcohol will always be there. It is learning how to navigate without it by having a plan. How do we do it?

My is my plan:

• Arrive early before everybody starts drinking.

• Bring my own water or soda.

• Stay with my sober friends in the crowd.

• When people are drinking too much I can leave early.

• Have my own transportation when I need to leave.

This plan has worked for me early in sobriety and throughout all of the sober days of my life —8,027 days.  If you are newly sober, I know you can do this because I did it. It is possible to show up sober, celebrate, and have fun without alcohol.

• Try this 4th of July sober.

• I know you can still have fun.

• Have a plan

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

1 Peter 5:8

ABSOLUTES

I woke up in the hospital on my 50th birthday after seizing from DTs—obviously, I didn’t die, but I could have. I had no idea about the detox process and that when you had been drinking as much alcohol as I had, you can’t just stop cold turkey. I learned that I needed help with the withdrawal process.

While in the hospital, I answered the phone with four days of sobriety and a friend said these words, “Does this mean that you will never drink again?” My mind could not wrap around the concept of “NEVER DRINKING AGAIN.”

My alcoholic brain cannot think in terms of absolutes—ALWAYS, NEVER, FOREVER. Those concepts are too big, too overwhelming. I hadn’t been able to stop drinking for even a day by this point, so “never again” seemed impossible.

If I could have stopped on my own before that point, I would have. Once I surrendered to God and asked for help, I was able to start that process in that one day. God relieved the obsession immediately. Miracle.

I have to stay in today, this day, and now.

That is all I have. I will not drink today. I will decide whether to drink again tomorrow. It is still a surprise, even to myself, that I have been able to string together many days in a row like that—one day at a time—by not looking too far ahead, not counting the years, not regretting the past, and planting my feet firmly in today. I am grateful for 8,019 days today.

Thank you, God, for my sobriety this day.

Trust God. Don’t drink. Stay in today.

If I can do it, so can you.

“This is the day the LORD has made. We will rejoice and be glad in it.”

Psalm 118:24

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JOURNAL. PRAY. WAIT.

Recently, I was talking with a friend in recovery. He was sharing on the brilliance of the Serenity Prayer.

So much I cannot change. Some things I can. The hard part is the wisdom to know the difference.

How do I know what the best decision is? When will I know? How will I know?

The path appears when you take the leap of faith and trust God. Knowing when to speak and to make an amends, it all comes down to timing. When to speak and when to wait. Who does it help? Who will it hurt? How long should I wait?

In any amends communication, I must ask myself two questions:

1) What is my motivation?

2) What are my expectations?

If I pray on these two and find that I have peace in the answers that come up, I am ready. I will be clean in my delivery. Trusting God for the outcome. God often presents the moments for us—when we least expect them.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can, and the wisdom to know the difference.”

Journal your thoughts.

Pray for wisdom.

Wait for God’s peace.

“For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”

Matthew 23:12

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O.D.A.T WITH H.P.

Last Sunday I celebrated 8000 days of sobriety—

One Day At a Time with Higher Power.

My husband has devotedly made a little number for each day of my sobriety since day one to support me. I carry it in my pocket to remind me that this day I choose sobriety and I have my husband’s support and alignment with that choice. Accountability. What a gift.

When I first got sober, I felt so alive and ready to take on the world again. First, I had to stop blurring the big picture with alcohol. Then, admit I was powerless and my life had become unmanageable. Then, turn my will and life over to God.

Then, get healthy again. 

One of the things I had set up in my life that was NOT healthy was committing to too many things. If I kept running and “doing,” I felt like I was “accomplishing” something. Being useful. Helpful. Having purpose.

I was trying to do my job AND God’s job. Part of surrendering to God is letting go of controlling the outcomes in my life. Not my job. I need God’s help. I need to show up and pray for God’s will and then let him be in charge of the outcome.

When I realized this, the transformation began. It was pride and arrogance that kept me stuck in my own power.

I think God is calling me to slow down and do SOME of the things with all of me and not ALL of the things with some of me. My purpose now is to show up each day for somebody else who is still suffering with all of me. I get to be here to support you in this day. Thank you, God, for slowing me down to see what you have planned for me each day in Your Will—

Right here. 

Right now.

All of the time. 

7th Step Prayer—“My Creator, I am now willing that you should have all of me, good and bad.  I pray that you now remove from me every single defect of character which stands in the way of my usefulness to you and my fellows. Grant me the strength, as I go out from here, to do your bidding.  Amen.” 

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Romans 12:2

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THE PROMISES

I have always loved reading The Promises in our recovery meetings. They are the promises that start to come true for us after we finish working our ninth step. It is about making amends to the people we have harmed, letting go of past hurts, and forgiveness.

The Ninth Step Promises speak of the positive transformations that we will experience after doing the hard work of introspection with our sponsor. I love the “if we are painstaking…” meaning if we actually do the inside work, we will receive emotional and spiritual growth and know the benefits of making amends and taking responsibility for past actions.

Just the reading of The Promises in every meeting, brings me peace and settles me.

THE PROMISES:

“If we are painstaking about this phase of our development, we will be amazed before we are half way through. We are going to know a new freedom and a new happiness. We will not regret the past nor wish to shut the door on it. We will comprehend the word serenity and we will know peace. No matter how far down the scale we have gone, we will see how our experience can benefit others. That feeling of uselessness and self-pity will disappear. We will lose interest in selfish things and gain interest in our fellows. Self-seeking will slip away. Our whole attitude and outlook upon life will change. Fear of people and of economic insecurity will leave us. We will intuitively know how to handle situations which used to baffle us. We will suddenly realize that God is doing for us what we could not do for ourselves.

Are these extravagant promises? We think not. They are being fulfilled among us-sometimes quickly, sometimes slowly. They will always materialize if we work for them.”

The work done in the 12-Steps is truly transformative. If we work them with our sponsors, it will be even better. A sponsor can guide us and point out different perspectives that we don’t necessarily see on our own. We are doing the work and God is doing the transforming.

Step into freedom.

Recovery works, if you work it.

I promise.

“Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth.”

Genesis 9:16

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DUMPSTER MEETING

Early last Saturday morning, I attended an AA meeting online—

6:00 am! 

My stepson was chairing (telling his story of recovery) celebrating 15 years of sobriety. What a privilege to show up for him and for the other recovering alcoholics online and in the room.

The “room” being a local coffee shop that allows this meeting to gather and hold their meeting before they actually open their doors for breakfast at 7am. The coolest part of this meeting is that it was started by my stepson and his buddy right before the pandemic. Just the two of them. In the coffee shop. It grew and then, during the pandemic, when we were not allowed to meet indoors, they started meeting outside in the back parking lot. They sat in beach chairs next to the dumpster with a laptop. Then, adding more people online. They eventually moved back inside to the coffee shop and still remained online, from his laptop.

The point being, is that the persistence of these people trying to stay sober during hard times was quite amazing.

That morning, there were ten men sitting at a long table and six more on zoom with me. They were all there to celebrate my stepson’s 15 years of sobriety. What a gift. They all talked about how he had invited them to his meeting (by invitation only) and they branched out to other meetings after that. They talked of his example of how to stay sober influenced them to stay sober too. He was a model for all of these men.

I was in tears the whole time. So proud of him. He started his story talking about starting the meetings out by the dumpster in the parking lot and how it was a glimpse of our lives before we got sober—coming out of the dumpster—now trying to clean up the garbage that we had created in our lives. Great picture. 

He also talked about coming to one of his first meetings and seeing a man who would become his sponsor. His sponsor was sitting in that meeting wearing a suit, dressed to go to work after the meeting. My Stepson saw himself in that person and identified. He saw others like himself and knew he belonged and was in the right place. He became “part of”… That is how our meetings work. 

There are meetings everywhere.

Surrender to God and the process—come join us.

We’ll save a beach chair for you.

“And let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds, not giving up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but encouraging one another—”

Hebrews 10:24-25

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WINDS OF CHANGE

On my morning walk the other day, there were fierce winds happening. We don’t have that often. I was praying as I was walking and asking God to guide and direct my thinking for that day because I was obsessing on a problem I had been dealing with for some time. When I surrendered the problem to God (finally), The thought He gave me was, “winds of change”

This reminded me that the only thing I can change is me. Change my thoughts, my focus, my actions. I cannot change the “problem” over there. This also reminds me of the daily Serenity Prayer. This is the extended version below:

The Serenity Prayer

“God grant me the serenity
 to accept the things I cannot change;
 the courage to change the things I can; 
and wisdom to know the difference. 
Living one day at a time;
 Enjoying one moment at a time;
 Accepting hardships as the pathway to peace;
 Taking, as He did, this sinful world
 as it is, not as I would have it;
 Trusting that He will make all things right, 
if I surrender to His Will;
 That I may be reasonably happy in this life 
and supremely happy with Him
 Forever in the next.
 Amen.”

My favorite line in that extended version is “Taking, as He did, this sinful world
 as it is, not as I would have it.”

“Not as I would have it” phrase actually calms me, knowing that God has everything and I don’t have to “figure it all out!”

If I could, I would.

I can’t, so I won’t.

Thank you, God.

No fear, just faith.

“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and of love and of a sound mind.”

2 Timothy 1:7

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DRASTIC THOUGHT

When I was drinking, my life was full of drama and chaos. I needed to make a drastic change to get out of that lifestyle and thinking. First, I needed to stop drinking.

Period. 

Then begin to deal with my mental and spiritual mindset.

Sobriety is about doing everything the exact opposite of what I did before I got sober. Drastically-changed behaviors. I have learned that whatever my mind thinks first as a possible good idea needs to be challenged. I have to ask God to help me pause and review what I am thinking and direct me to the next right step or behavior. I never did that before. I just reacted. I just did things—without thinking.

It got me thinking about opposites.

I recently came across these paradoxes put forth by Alcoholics Anonymous:

• From weakness comes strength

• We suffer to get well

• We die to live

• We surrender to win

• From dependence we found independence 

• We forgive to be forgiven

• We give it away to keep it

• From darkness comes light

I think this 11th Step Prayer or the Prayer of St. Francis emphasizes the weaknesses to show the drastic nature of what the solution or hope will be. This prayer always lifts me and makes me know there is hope.

11th Step Prayer

“Lord, make me a channel of thy peace, that where there is hatred, I may bring love. That where there is wrong, I may bring the spirit of forgiveness. That where there is discord, I may bring harmony. That where there is error, I may bring truth. That where there is doubt, I may bring faith.That where there is despair, I may bring hope. That where there are shadows, I may bring light. That where there is sadness, I may bring joy. Lord, grant that I may seek rather to comfort than to be comforted to understand, than to be understood to love, than to be loved. For it is by self-forgetting that one finds. It is by forgiving that one is forgiven. It is by dying that one awakens to eternal life. Amen”

There is hope.

“But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.”

2 Corinthians 12:9

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SALVAGING THE REJECTS

The other day, someone was talking about the art of Kintsugi.

Kintsugi: is the ancient Japanese art of placing broken pottery pieces back together with lacquer mixed with precious metals, like gold. It literally means “golden repair” Kintusgi is part of a philosophy of embracing our human flaws and life’s fragility. Teaching us that adversity can be turned into something that is beautiful and strong. It illustrates that we can heal from our wounds and embrace imperfections to become resilient again.

In a video I saw of a woman who does this Kintsugi art, she describes how she literally, “salvages the rejects” of the pottery out of the kiln firing process to make new pottery.

This reminds me of the process of recovery.

At our bottoms, we often think of ourselves as rejects. Hopeless alcoholics or drug addicts. Broken and not “fixable.” I believe we are all redeemable and worthy of restoration. This simple image of restoration is how we are made new in the process of recovery.

Broken, but not rejected. With the helping hand of others putting the pieces back together of our lives after the chaos and confusion of addiction. And, also with the helping hand of God (the golden repair) in this process of putting back together the broken pieces to make a new creation of ourselves.

We are made new in this process of recovery.

New path. A different way. Not old patterns. New attitude and re-framing of our thinking.

Made Beautiful.

Made Strong.

With God’s help.

“You were taught, with regard to your former way of life, to put off your old self, which is being corrupted by its deceitful desires; to be made new in the attitude of your minds; and to put on the new self, created to be like God in true righteousness and holiness.”

Ephesians 4:22-24

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SURRENDER TO WIN

In a military battle, surrender is giving up—the battle lost to the enemy. Man to man combat. Surrender means I lost. In my struggle with alcohol, it was a battle of my own physical obsession and not having the willpower to stop. I was choosing the destructive path and defeating myself.

Recovery starts with surrendering my human power to God.

Step One.

“Admitted we were powerless over addiction and our lives had become unmanageable.”

Surrendering to God is not giving up. It is submitting to the Will of God and gaining access to the greatest power in the universe. Surrendering to the authority of God in my life, who only wants good for me. God does the transforming. I need to show up in humility, knowing this is a spiritual battle for my soul. 

When I surrendered my will and life to God, only then did I step out of the prison I found myself in with alcohol—the enemy. The enemy of my state of being. 

I needed to surrender to win.

Peace is the result of my surrender to God—and the power given to me to rest in that peace and share it with others.

I need full armor of God.

I stand ready.

So can you. 

Ephesians 6:10-17

"Finally, be strong in the Lord and in his mighty power. Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil’s schemes. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms. Therefore put on the full armor of God, so that when the day of evil comes, you may be able to stand your ground, and after you have done everything, to stand. Stand firm then, with the belt of truth buckled around your waist, with the breastplate of righteousness in place, and with your feet fitted with the readiness that comes from the gospel of peace. In addition to all this, take up the shield of faith, with which you can extinguish all the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God."

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GRACE

I have always been confused when people say, “God never gives us more than we can handle.”

The truth is that there IS more than we can handle by ourselves here on earth, so we must to turn to Him! We can’t do this alone. We think we can, in our arrogance—but no.

I heard one of our pastors tell her story. She went through many hardships as a child. She shared a plaque that was in her mother’s house as she was growing up.

“The will of God will never lead you where the Grace of God cannot keep you.”

That’s more like it. This hard stuff I am enduring right now is an opportunity to look for the grace—the free gift. Then we are amazed when God weaves it all together so masterfully to bless us in this tapestry of life. A life undeserved. There are no degrees of grace. 

He will reveal what we need to know, when we need to know it if we trust.

Grace—unmerited favor.

A free gift.

Thank you, God.

“My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” 

2 Corinthians 12:9

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BONDAGE OF SELF

I love this photo. A beautiful friend sent this, who knows me well. 

She knows that I am great at “stealing the pen.” (From God)

How about you?

Are you letting God lead your story instead of trying to control the narrative? I know that I WANT to give it over to God and to live in His will for my life, but sometimes, my plans seem pretty cool for today. I’m pretty happy with my way. And, sometimes—most times—it leads me to trouble. Then, right back to God. Asking for His will for me and the power to carry that out. 

I have to look right in front of me, sometimes. Right there. Look and see it. “But, I don’t want to do that right now.”  But, God does want me to do that. Like a father with a child. He’s trying to show the best path for me. I’m the one who doesn’t want to see. 

Or, won’t see—That is my will.

That is why I have to pause and ask God if this is His will for me today. I start every day with the 3rd Step prayer:

“God, I offer myself to Thee. To build with me and do with me as thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I might better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy love and Thy way of life. May I do Thy will always. Amen.”

Such a good way for me to put down the pen and let God keep writing my story.

Two phrases in that prayer help me:  “Relieve me of the bondage of self”—that gets me out of God’s way and being self-centered. Then, having victory over my difficulties to bear witness to others—service! Great reminder that it’s not about me.

When I stopped drinking and turned my life over to God, I started being of service to others, God began writing my story the way He intended it to go. I got out of the way. It is a process of daily getting out of God’s way and my own way.

Each day I have to remember to:

Put down the pen.

Get out of God’s way.

Trust the Author.

“Thy kingdom come.Thy will be done. On earth as it is in heaven.”

Matthew 6:10

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HOPE

If you are looking for reasons to NOT believe in God, you will find them. If you are looking for reasons to believe in God, you will find them. The evidence is overwhelming. This morning I saw a rainbow over the ocean. It gave me hope.

My question is, “Why NOT believe in God? What do I have to lose—in fact, I have everything to gain.” Why would I not accept help.

My plan was not working the way I was going, so it seems logical to receive the help that is offered. Right? The gift of grace is freely given. How arrogant of me to reject that free gift?

Humbling myself is hard, but always being “right” is even harder. Haha.

There might be another way…

When I was at the bottom of my drinking, I was at the end of me. My way. My will was not working. Surrendering to God for help was the choice in front of me. I am glad I chose that route, because the help was immediate. My obsession with alcohol was lifted and I was free in a moment of time.

That was, and continues to be, a miracle every day. I thought I would not be able to live this life without alcohol. This was a lie I had told myself for so long that I believed it. When I rejected that lie and asked God to help me, He did. Magically.

Stubborn me. Simple but not easy. It required me to let go of old thinking, behaviors and beliefs—try a new path in partnership with others and with God.

I have been free of the need to drink or medicate myself in any way for 7,940 days in a row. Such a gift. Now, I want to tell others that it is that simple. Be bold and take that step. Trust.

Let others help.

Let God in to help.

Watch the change happen.

You will be amazed.

“I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth.”

Genesis 9:13

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