WANTING IT

Recovery is for people who want it.

Not for people who need it.

When I finally chose sobriety for myself, I wanted that for everyone else. The relief that said—I don’t have to carry this by myself anymore.

While sponsoring other women, my sponsor always tells me, “Heidi, they have to want their sobriety more than you want it for them.”

I can’t force them to get there. I remember being so disappointed when someone I was sponsoring relapsed yet again. I took it personally, like there was something I could have done or said to change that outcome. My sponsor said to me, “Heidi, you are not that powerful”

Oh, yeah. I am not God.

Here is what I CAN do: I can pray for them. Ask them if they want to get sober. Stand ready to help. Listen when they reach out. Take them to a meeting to get connected with others.

I am reminded of the story in the Bible (John 5:5-8), where a man who has been an invalid for thirty-eight years comes to the healing pool. He never makes it into the pool to get healed in all of that time—hmmm.

Jesus comes over to him and says, “Do you want to get well?”

The invalid says, “Sir, I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred. While I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

I never looked at the scripture in this way before.—The man’s reply is an excuse! Boy, did I have excuses why I could not get sober for many years!

Jesus tells him to “Pick up your mat and walk.”

We have to pick up our own mat and walk out this life.

We have to want to get well.

Do you want to get well?

“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who are spiritual should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”
Galatians 6:2

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CLAIMING THE MASTER

I’ve learned many lessons from my dogs over the years.

My dog, Dash, comes as close as he can to me. He either leans on me, sits on my foot, or lays as close as he can to me—to “claim” me.

I am his access point to basic needs like food, affection, and open doors to new places for moving forward, fun, and play time. He wants to be first in line for all of that. He wants to please me.

I am the source of provision for all his needs.

All he has to do is “claim me” and sit as close to me as possible, so he doesn’t miss anything that might happen next.

What a wonderful metaphor for my life—I get to “claim” my sobriety by the action step of staying close to my Master—God. If I claim God, I can claim my sobriety. It’s a choice—an action step on my part.

God is my source for nourishment and open doors to new places for moving forward, affection, fun, and play time! He is the provider for all my needs.

If I stay close to the Master, I won’t miss anything He has planned for me!

I want to be first in line to please Him.

I claim God. I claim sobriety.

“Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world.” Matthew 25:34

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STILL ROW TO SHORE

There is a difference between giving up and surrendering.

BIG difference.

Giving up is all about me. If I give up, I have thrown in the towel. I can’t do it anymore and that is the end of it.

Surrender involves a partnership. Surrender means that I acknowledge there is something else out there to help me once I let go of my old ways.

God.

That doesn’t mean I have no part in it anymore. It means that I have surrendered control and now my action plan to move forward has an invisible motor—power beyond myself that will lift and carry me through my own actions.

I saw a poster once in a meeting hanging on the wall. It is of a man in a boat rowing all by himself. Water leaks into the boat from holes in the bottom making it look like he will sink. Above his head reads:

Trust in God. Below the boat it reads: And, still row to shore.

We are partners now. With God’s help and my own action steps,

I can do this life sober—not giving up, but surrendering.

Sweet surrender...

Power.

“In all your ways acknowledge Him, and He will direct your path.” Proverbs 3:6

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GOD TALKS

If I pay attention and listen.

When I first got sober, I was hypersensitive to the world. Overload. Too much info coming at me. I was scattered in my thinking. So used to being in a buzzed state. Not thinking about anything. Not accountable to anybody. Gone.

I know you can relate. Checking out is easy. Engaging and showing up is hard. Sobriety changed everything. I didn’t have that crutch of alcohol anymore. The filter between you and me. My liquid courage. I had to retrain my brain to behave differently now.

One of the first things I had to do was learn how to start my day. Not just react, recover my fumbles from yesterday, or get up and try and function with a hangover—just get through the day.

Now, clear-headed, I start with prayer and acknowledge that I am not in control. Let God lead my day. Get me out of the way. God talks to me. It may not always be words. A thought, an idea, an inspiration, from nature...I find that God talks to me, when I regularly talk to Him! When you think about the relationships you have in your life, the people you communicate with the most and spend the most time with are the closest to you, right?

The more time I spend with God, the better that relationship becomes. The way I do that is spending time is meditation—on a walk or standing on the beach and observing his beautiful creation.

At one point, I thought God had stopped talking to me. After many days of resistance, stubbornness and me NOT talking to God, I stood on the cliff and looked out over the ocean at sunset. I saw a group of pelicans with huge wingspans banking out over the water. As they turned, the afternoon sunlight bounced magnificently off of their backs such that it made me catch my breath!

God saying to me through that beauty, “I will continue to send you beauty and you need to pay attention!” I was so surprised hearing from God I shouted out loud, “Hey, You are talking to me again!”

His reply?

“I could say the same to you.” Whew, what a great realization.

I need to talk to God for Him to talk with me.

Relationship.

“Be still, and know that I am God”

Psalm 46:10

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COMING HOME

It was my first meeting ever. Summer of 2004.

A dingy room downtown, filled with lively and chatty people. I was shaking madly. Not from nervousness, but from withdrawal.

My friend, Dan, leaned over to me and whispered that I didn’t need to announce myself when they asked for newcomers. But when they did, I jumped up automatically and said loud and clear, as though I had been preparing to do that for years,

“Hi, I’m Heidi, and I’m an alcoholic.”

Dan broke out laughing. At the time I didn’t understand why. Later, I would understand how hard it was to say those words out loud the first time. Not for me at that moment.

The freedom and relief in that moment was overwhelming—plus the room erupted in applause like I had just sunk a 30-foot putt!

Actually, I had.

Figuratively, I had been trying to line that putt up for years. Without God blowing it in on the final two inches when the roll started to slow down, I never would have made it into the cup—or OUT of my cups, as they say.

I was ready.

I had carried the weight of it long enough.

I was home.

“Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed.”

James 5:16

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TRUTH STAND

I was listening to a prominent psychologist talk about “how to impose order on the chaos of our lives.” It was so brilliant, I had to listen to it twice because a lot of how he presents is way over my head. But the thing that stuck with me is that he said that there is tremendous adventure in telling the truth because you don’t know what’s going to happen.

Wow. So good.

When you hide things, they grow and you shrink. The opposite happens when you tell the truth—the things you were hiding shrink and YOU grow.

When the truth is told, it takes the power out of you carrying that in your head. It is always smaller out here than how you were spinning it in your head. That is the concept of recovery meetings. Sharing our stories and truths to each other takes the weight off of our shoulders. We find out that in walking sobriety with another, it lightens our load knowing that we are not alone.

I am not usually a huge risk-taker, but I have become one in sobriety. What that looks like for me now is this—I may hesitate to share that I am an alcoholic in recovery because of the judgement or stigma associated with saying it. And, when I do choose to share my truth about that, it almost always ends up helping somebody else! Which is now my main purpose. That is the adventure part. Taking that risk so that I may be of service to another.

So when I think of imposing order in the chaos of my life, it almost always involves telling my truth. Admitting I was an alcoholic (finally) was the leap of faith I needed to take. My truth. Now what to do next. I knew that I could not do it on my own power.

When I surrendered my will and life over to God, the adventure began. I needed help to live this live sober and to do that, I needed God and others like myself.

That’s why I still go to meetings after 6,143 days of sobriety—to hear God speak to me through others in the room. To watch that transformation in them and hear their truth, mine becomes—and remains—undeniable.

The truth really will set you free.

Try it.

Let the adventure begin.

“Then you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.”

John 8:32

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NORMAL LIFE

I heard a newly-sober young man share in a meeting the other day. He was talking about loving his normal life now, having just over 30 days of sobriety.

Normal ?

I heard this in a meeting when I first got sober: “Normal is a setting on a washing machine.” I loved that. In my newly sober mind, I had to rethink what was normal—without the drinking part. Everything had to be different from my old normal.

This man started to talk about how he didn’t have a care in the world about anybody or anything when he was drinking and using. How he did not think about the future and had no hope of things ever being different than his current chaotic way of living.

Then he said this, “I even like using my calendar now. I like planning out my meetings.” This kid sat there talking about being excited to actually use his calendar! What a gift. Showing up alert and sober.

Wow—think about it. The calendar represents future events. Hope. When I was drinking, I had no hope of anything being different. When I got sober, I could plan for future events, counting on the fact that I would be present to actually show up for them!

I remember somebody asking me in early sobriety if I had done 90 in 90 yet? Ninety meetings in Ninety days. I can do that. Out came my calendar and I marked my meetings in ink on my paper calendar. It gave me hope and resolve that I was going to stay sober each day by going to meetings and connecting with others like myself.

The scripture I added here at the bottom talks about the enemy. I think of drugs and alcohol as the enemy prowling around trying to destroy me and not letting me have full access to my mind, body and spirit.

Separation from God. Now that the enemy—alcohol—is out of the equation, I have full access to God and the power available to show up and be of service to others and to myself.

Use my calendar.

Have hope for the future.

Be present for today.

“Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.”

1 Peter 5:8

MISSING THE PAYOFF

MISSING THE PAYOFF

A man who was chairing a recovery meeting spoke of having thirteen years of sobriety in the past.

When he continued with his story, he told of relapse after relapse and how he landed in rehab several times. He sat there telling this story with 90 days of sobriety and said this key line:

“If you don’t get the spirituality of this program, you are missing the biggest payoff.”

The universal truth bell went off in my head when he said that.

The candy. The miracles. All things we were missing while checking out. When we let go and turn it over to God, all kinds of good things start happening that we didn’t expect and could never have dreamed.

We let go and it all comes back.

You mean if I hold on real tight, I am not going to keep it?

Uh, no.

You can’t keep what you don’t have in the first place. God gave you life. If you give your life back to Him in full, that is when you get the big payoff.

The big payoff?

Peace that passes all understanding.

Do it. Then watch and see.

“Rejoice in the Lord always. I will say it again: Rejoice! 5 Let your gentleness be evident to all. The Lord is near. Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”

Philippians 4:4-7

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DYNAMIC PATIENCE

What?

When I think of having patience, I think of being static. Stuck. Until something happens to take me out of waiting. But, patience is not necessarily static, being stuck or waiting.

Definition of Patience: 1) bearing pains or trials calmly or without complaint; 2) steadfast despite opposition, difficulty, or adversity. 3) not hasty or impetuous

Definition of Static: 1) of or relating to bodies at rest or forces in equilibrium. 2) showing little change

Definition of Dynamic: marked by usually continuous and productive activity or change 2) of or relating to physical force or energy. 3) an underlying cause of change or growth.

Aha! There it is. “Dynamic: an underlying cause of change or growth.”

This whole last year felt like I was “put on hold— Just wait patiently now.” My first instinct to that is to resist. Patience can be dynamic: “Steadfast despite opposition, difficulty or adversity—this being the underlying cause of change or growth.”

God is growing me even when I don’t know it or see Him doing it—like the photo of this sprout—I can’t see what’s happening under the dirt for this growth to come about above the surface—that I get to finally see. How awesome is that? The best part about it is that I can choose to trust God and turn my will over especially when I feel stuck. Waiting.

My sobriety is a process. Patience has never been my “strong suit” as my mother always said. And, I find this hilarious how my husband views patience when he says, “I can’t wait to have patience!”

So, I can choose to view my patience as dynamic, moving and growing me—even when I can’t see it happening.

Make sense?

“Can anyone hide out in a corner where I can’t see him?” God’s Decree. “Am I not present everywhere, whether seen or unseen?” God’s Decree.”

Jeremiah 23:24 (The Message)

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FIRST THOUGHT WRONG

I used to be confused by all of the sayings in meetings. One of them was “First Thought Wrong.”

Now, I get it. Slow learner. If you are having an urge to drink, or you are having a sudden bad feeling—pause. Your first thought on what to do next is usually wrong.

I always try to test my first thought by thinking of its consequences—Try and think of other alternative actions and walk them through to their conclusion. In our addictive-thinking minds, our first thoughts tend to be harmful to ourselves and others. For example, usually my first thought when feeling stressed, angry, or helpless is to lash out or escape by picking up a drink. This only causes more conflict, stress, anger and resentment.

In recent years, my thoughts don’t go to picking up a drink because I have retrained my brain. But I DO often go straight to anger! Hmmm…I am still working on that.

Acting on my first thought is a reaction. In recovery, I learned to respond, not react, and this makes my life much easier. I make better decisions when I pause and respond, and do the next right thing—rather than instantaneously react.

So what is my go-to?

To-do: Move on to the second thought. Seek counsel from others. Do the next right thing.

Try it. It really does work.

“Let us examine our ways and test them, and let us return to the Lord.” (Lamentations 3:40)

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F.E.A.R.

False Evidence Appearing Real

If I look around in the world, I can find all the evidence I need to prove that I should stay in fear. It takes a measure of trust and faith to not buy into the false evidence.

I can’t be in fear and faith at the same time.

Fear tells us that we are small, powerless, and separate.

Faith affirms that we are great, creative, and connected.

Which voice do you choose to be your guide?

I am bigger than fear. I choose faith as I step forward to live in the light in glorious sobriety, for which I am grateful. Oh God, You paint the afternoon sky with miracles in mind. My tearful eyes joyfully receive the awesome stroke of your brush.

Thank you for another day of sobriety so that I can see Your wonders before me every day.

Step into the Light with me.

I remain grateful.

“For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities—his eternal power and divine nature—have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.”

Romans 1:20

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NO MORE EXCUSES

I had plenty of excuses to drink. Everything was a good reason. Then, I didn’t even need to have an excuse to drink. Upsetting circumstances were always the thing that would take me down deep into drinking.

When I got sober, I learned that good and bad stuff still happens in life. I realized that circumstances could not be my excuse anymore.

Someone said to me, “You have what you want in life or—you have the excuses why you don’t have what you want in life.” That was a powerful thought for me. I had a say in how it went. I knew that I was powerless over alcohol, and that I needed help from God every day to choose to live without drinking. I also have a responsibility to choose to live my life again—or anew—without excuses.

I will always have circumstances that challenge me. It is how I handle them that matters most now that alcohol is not the solution anymore.

I was fifty years old before I quit drinking. Many get it long before I did. I guess I am a slow learner. I tried for many years to stop drinking on my own and could not do it. When I finally turned my will and life over to God and asked for help, that is when it all fell into place. The miracle began.

Now, my life is beyond my wildest dreams. Still challenging, but I can do it all with the help of others like myself and with trust in God. I don’t have to understand how it works, I just have to have faith. When each new day dawns, I am grateful for another chance to be present, sober and help somebody else.

If I can do this, you can too!

“Trust in the Lord with all your heart and lean not on your own understanding; in all your ways submit to him, and he will make your paths straight. ”

Proverbs 3:5-6

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SIMILARITIES, NOT DIFFERENCES

I was taught in sobriety to look for the similarities in other alcoholics, not the differences. To identify with them and not compare myself with others.

To identify implies seeing likenesses.

Comparing implies looking for better than or less than.

When we compare ourselves, we separate from others. When we identify, we lift ourselves out of isolation and become “part of.” The way out of the pit of isolation is to identify, be a part of, and to notice and feel similarities with our fellow alcoholics.

When I see the differences, I become “separate.”

When I see the similarities, I become “part of.”

This empowers us. It helps us step out of judgement into acceptance and unification. Find somebody, see how they are like you and talk with them. I think you’ll find that feeling of belonging. Then do it again.

Then again.

You in yet?

“My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you.”

John 15:12

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HUMILITY

At the end of my drinking I suffered humiliation. I had embarrassment for things I had done and who I had become. I was hopeless.

I found out that humility is not the same as humiliation.

Humility: Low estimate of one’s importance.

Humiliation: Feeling shame or injury to one’s dignity or self-respect.

Big difference.

I can have humility and not suffer humiliation.

Being humiliated, I am stuck in victim mode, jealousy, resentment and fear. You don’t even exist for me in that state. It’s all about me.

My ego becomes right-sized by being humble. I can look at others with respect and rejoice in their victories because mine are not threatened. I set aside my own ego and self-thought to make other’s needs important to me.

Today, humility is something I long for and intentionally try to practice.

It serves me well when I am serving.

“For those who exalt themselves will be humbled, and those who humble themselves will be exalted.”
Matthew 23:12

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NOT NEGOTIABLE

My sponsor sat me down when I first asked her to sponsor me. She said,

“Heidi, relapse is not about you picking up a drink again. It is about all the time leading up to that moment. That is what I want to help you identify and be aware of so you don’t get to the drinking part again.”

That made perfect sense to me. Identifying my triggers for checking out. Wow, what a concept. I drank mindlessly for years never thinking of that.

You mean I might have a chance to lick this thing if I pay attention?—YES.

The one thing I knew for myself when I got sober was that drinking was not an option anymore. So, now, I just had to figure out what my options were—calling my sponsor, working The Steps, talking to others, exercising, walking my dogs, attending meetings, praying while watching water flow powerfully down a river or waves crashing on shore—all productive.

I heard someone say in a meeting: “Things may change, but my sobriety is not negotiable—Period.”

This is true for me.

You?

“Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—his good, pleasing and perfect will.”

Romans 12:2

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COUNTER INTUITIVE

This past weekend we had a guest pastor speaking in our online services at my church. He spoke of so many things that shouted to me about recovery and what we do to stay sober and to help others.

He said this with regard to the Bible’s Gospel message being counterintuitive, “We are not called to fit in, we are called to stick out” And, he talked of how we are called to listen and to love when misunderstanding and hate is thrown our way.

And, so it is with recovery—when I hit my bottom, I had to do something differently. Stop fitting in and start sticking out—separate myself from the drinking that was damaging my life and those around me, and start demonstrating change, that possibly, I could do this life differently.

I immediately jumped into service when I got sober, just by being sober!

Imagine that. I could show others how to do this life sober and stick out from all the others’ and the destructive behaviors that were not serving me or those around me.

Our society thrives on fitting in, doing what everybody is doing, we’re “in” and “cool” when we drink and use and party like them. Well, not exactly. That’s just supporting each other in bad behavior. That’s easy.

The hard part is stepping away. Sticking out. Showing others the way and how it can be done in love and support and without our destructive behaviors, whatever they may be—alcoholism, codependency, drug addiction, sex addiction, pornography, over-eating, over-anything.

This is all counterintuitive, right? What does that mean?

Definition of counterintuitive: contrary to what one would intuitively expect

When I got sober, I felt like I was all alone. Separated from everyone who was having fun, doing the “in” thing, being happy, fitting in. When I found out just the opposite.

I learned there were others like myself, learning how to fit in in a different way—with others that were staying sober, going to meetings, reviewing and changing old behaviors that didn’t work for them anymore (the 12-steps of AA), working with others and sharing their lives in love and sober fellowship.

I chose to become “part of” life rather than choose to separate and isolate. In doing that, I automatically chose a path to stick out and be an example of how God intended for us ALL to live our lives. And the cool part was that it was realized and manifested out of the MESS of my life! That God could use my MESS now as a MESSAGE to others.

So grateful.

You can do this too.

“A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another.”

John 13:34-35

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EXPECTATIONS

Expectations are “planned disappointments.”

Think about it. If we go into any given situation with high expectations of what should happen, we set ourselves up for disappointment if we don’t get the expected outcome.

I am really good at this. I am trying not to be.

It’s one of the things I used to drink over—if it didn’t turn out how I expected (or wanted it to.) I was constantly setting myself up for failure. What a great excuse to check out.

On the other hand, when you put your trust and faith in God, you can “expect” that He will be with you at all times—bad and good. God loves us and only wants what is best for us, which means in trials or blessings. We need to expect that God knows what He is doing :)))

How do I stop my brain from expecting what I want and to stay in God’s will?

First, if I go into a situation with my mind all set one way, I am not open to anything else. I am shut down to many possibilities. My arms are crossed. My brain is shut down and closed. It is a vulnerable place to be. Anything can and will happen that is out of my control. I am always Powerless.

Oh yeah, I am a control freak. Forgot that part.

So, I have to consciously go into whatever is next with an open mind. Literally saying, “I am ready for this experience and will accept the outcome, whatever that is.”

Pray. Trust God for the outcome. I don’t have to like it, I get to look for the gifts along the way in the experience—because there are many.

If I am not looking for the lessons and gifts, I am expecting what I want or what I THINK I want. I have to train my brain to relax and open my eyes to what might be there for me to find.

Gifts.

When you learn to live without expectations, everything is a gift.

“Every good and perfect gift is from above, coming down from the Father of the heavenly lights, who does not change like shifting shadows.”

James 1:17

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DOUBLE DOWN

While drinking, any chance I could, I would make mine a double.

More is better, right? —Well, not always.

More alcohol for me just took me further from reality, sanity and the truth.

Separation from God. Making it a double, got me drunk faster.

So, if that’s the case, in sobriety, it must follow that if I double my efforts to stay sober, it would get me to safety faster, closer to reality, sanity or truth, right? Not separated from God, my source of power. I have to expand my thinking to ensure my recovery stays in place. If I put half the effort into sobriety that I put into my drinking career, I just might stay sober.

Holy cow. Do the math. If I double down on my efforts to stay sober, I could not only ensure my own recovery, but have energy to help someone else stay sober too!

Definition of Double Down:

1) to double the original bid in blackjack in exchange for only one more card

2) to become more tenacious, zealous, or resolute in a position or undertaking

I like both definitions.

I think I will double down on my efforts to stay sober by picking up one more card for my new hand, and become more tenacious, zealous and resolute in that position.

How about you?

“Instead of your shame you will receive a double portion, and instead of disgrace you will rejoice in your inheritance. And so you will inherit a double portion in your land, and everlasting joy will be yours.”

Isaiah 61:7

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COCKY OR FEARFUL

I heard a woman share the other day in a meeting that she spent most of her life in either cocky or fearful. That struck a chord with me. Those two extremes can both bring trouble. It also reminds me of something else I heard when newly sober, “an alcoholic is an egomaniac with an inferiority complex.” Same concept. Both expressions I can apply to my life.

I am not sure that’s where I am supposed to be—on either end of that spectrum. I have spent many days in sobriety searching for that middle ground of not being arrogant and not being in fear. The only way I am able to get there is to surrender. When I control things I always end up at either end of the scale and I don’t have peace. When I surrender to God, I don’t have to be at either end of that.

Magically, I am at peace when I don’t fight anymore and let God have it. All of it.

I know for sure, that I don’t want to head toward pain. But some pain I do need to press through to get out of fear and closer to peace. Arrogance or cockiness is just a cover for my fear. “I’m ok, look at me, I am strong and proud.”

Not!

I heard this said, “In our addiction we go through unnecessary pain to avoid necessary pain.”

The only way to heal is to face the necessary pain head on. Scary, but necessary to have any growth.

My pastor preached a sermon recently on “fearing the Lord, not man.” And, by “fear of the Lord,” it means to be in awe of the raw power of God that we can connect to when we surrender to God and let him be in charge—like the awe we feel when we see a striking sunset like the one pictured above.

My pastor does this exercise that makes it really clear and real. He says, ok, everybody point up and say “God.” and then we point to ourselves and say, “NOT.”— and he has us do that with him a few times. We all laugh and giggle together, but it really is that simple.

Surrender. Period.

I need to repeat this exercise when I am feeling fearful at all or feeling like, “I got this, I’m in control.”

Try it. It works.

“Humble yourselves before the Lord, and he will lift you up.”

James 4:10

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WISDOM TO KNOW

Thinking about the Serenity Prayer today.

“God, grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change. The courage to change the things I can. And, the wisdom to know the difference.”

My chronological age doesn’t necessarily give me wisdom. I think it does sometimes, but I continue to act in ways that don’t prove that out. I know lots of things because I have lived many years. I have accumulated a lot of knowledge. That doesn’t make me qualified to decide and act on that knowledge.

Wisdom is more than knowing. It’s knowing and doing what is right. Wisdom is the ability to apply what we know to be good and true and beneficial to our lives.

“and, the wisdom to know the difference.”

Sometimes I act on pure gut feeling. I can’t always trust that because I may be operating out of fear. Fear of expectations being met—allowing outside pressures to impact my decisions. I have to consult God first—not my own gut. Pray for His direction and wisdom to know the difference between what I can do and what is not mine to do.

Wow—Such a simple prayer, but not easy to apply.

Here are some steps I need to take:

Pause.

Pray.

Ask for direction.

Listen.

Let go.

Trust God—

Then, decide.

“But the wisdom that comes from heaven is first of all pure; then peace-loving, considerate, submissive, full of mercy and good fruit, impartial and sincere.”

James 3:17

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