“No.”— A complete sentence.
No — period.
My sponsor told me this early in sobriety. I have a problem saying “no” to people. I don’t want to disappoint them, so I say “yes” and play the martyr role and “resent” instead. Which is a lot healthier, right?
By not saying what I mean, I buy many more problems and situations to unravel later. When “No.” releases us right now.
I have also heard this helpful saying:
“Say what you mean. Mean what you say. And, don’t say it mean.”
Now, if I could only do this.
“And don’t say anything you don’t mean. This counsel is embedded deep in our traditions. You only make things worse when you lay down a smoke screen of pious talk, saying, ‘I’ll pray for you,’ and never doing it, or saying, ‘God be with you,’ and not meaning it. You don’t make your words true by embellishing them with religious lace. In making your speech sound more religious, it becomes less true. Just say ‘yes’ and ‘no.’ When you manipulate words to get your own way, you go wrong.”
Matthew 5:33-37 The Message Translation
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