When people ask me now, “Why do you say you are an alcoholic when you don’t drink anymore?”
Most would think, “You’re fixed. You’re healed. You don’t have a problem anymore.” I find the better phrase for that is in recovery because it’s a process. Ongoing. I’ll never be fixed. Cured. I must me ever-vigilant with the process of recovery.
My core identity is not being an alcoholic—When I say, “Hi, I’m Heidi, I am an alcoholic.” I am not saying that to tell you who I am so much as where I have been, so that you can identify and connect. My identity is not what I am doing but who I am being. Service keeps me out of my own head and out there in the world focusing on you instead of me.
I am a child of God. That is my core identity. Everything comes out of that Truth. Every thought, every behavior and every action.
This past year I have chosen to start each day with this prayer. It helped me tremendously throughout the day. It is the Third Step Prayer from AA that goes like this:
God, I offer myself to Thee - To build with me and to do with me as Thou wilt. Relieve me of the bondage of self, that I may better do Thy will. Take away my difficulties, that victory over them may bear witness to those I would help of Thy Power, Thy Love, and Thy Way of life. May I do Thy will always! Amen.
My favorite line of the prayer is “Relieve me of the bondage of self.” The second I say this out loud, I can feel myself relax and surrender. Get me out of the way!
Try this when you start your day and see how your focus changes. I am praying that your light will shine for others as you go out into the world.
“Be still, and know that I am God.”
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