And, sometimes it gets revealed for us. God reveals things right in front of me that, quite possibly, I don’t want to see. Yep. Turns the light on.
If we are not willing to see what is right before us, well, that’s called denial. Of which, I was quite guilty while drinking.
In Step Four of the 12 Steps, we become willing to look inside and we make a searching and moral inventory. We have to turn the light on. We have to reveal things that haven’t come out before so the healing can begin. This is hard for so many people, as there is pain involved.
How can we recover when we are holding onto so much pain that keeps us stuck? I really believe that we can make ourselves physically and spiritually sick—holding onto pain we carry from being hurt in the past, holding onto resentments, festering fears—all of these keep us stuck in a prison of our own making.
It was much easier to drink and shut it out for me in the past. Once I was taught how to reveal that hurt to someone else, by speaking it out, I realized the power had been sucked right out of it the moment I said it out loud!
Wow. Just like that, when I revealed it, the healing began. It felt like a plug had been pulled, so I could let the pain drain out. I am sure you’ve heard it said that holding onto a resentment is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die. Yeah, well, it sounds ridiculous, but it is so true. Laughably true.
The good things that came out of step 4 for me were:
1) Being able to own my part in any given situation.
2) After owning it, being able to stay on my side of the street and let go of what wasn’t mine to own.
3) Letting go of blame.
4) Trusting God for my unreal fears. Hardly ever did my fears manifest to actual truth.
5) Being able to speak my truth out loud and watch the power I had given that one thing disappear and heal the pain caused by my hanging onto it.
Try turning the light on. It helps and it works.
Or, see the light being turned on for you, by God, and pay attention.
I did and it changed my life.
It can happen for you too, if we show up for the work.
“These things God has revealed to us through the Spirit. For the Spirit searches everything, even the depths of God.”
1 Corinthians 2:10
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