The first women’s meeting I walked into in when I got sober, became my home group women’s meeting. I was definately “home” here. All the women said what I was thinking. They WERE me. There was a beautiful woman there who had close to 40 years of sobriety. Beautiful, charming, wise, Dossie.
Angel Dossie.
Her words ring in my head today. She is gone now, but many remember her. She said the most amazing things that I remembered and carried with me. How could THIS beautiful and “together” woman be an alcoholic? I wanted what she had. I looked forward to when she would share each time and then laugh and smile (and cry) on the way home thinking about what she’d said—and her. How did she stay sober that long? Her spirit and light lives in me and sits there in the room with me, she keeps me coming back whether or not she shows up that day. God was shining through her and is now shining through me.
One of the funniest (and wisest) things she said was, “When you’re standing in a bucket of crap, don’t jump up and down.”
It made everyone laugh in the room. I was laughing too. Confused, at first, why she said that in an meeting for alcoholics, but now it makes perfect sense.
The perfect metaphor for my life. I spent so much time jumping up and down in the bucket. The drama of it all, you know? If I stepped into the bucket of crap, I would ask, “why me? and poor me...and pour me a drink”
In sobriety, I learned how to stand still in the bucket of crap, weigh the situation, not react, but respond calmly. Now I ask, “ok, what’s the next right thing for me to do?” After I have pause and prayed, I call a few friends in recovery, go to a meeting or two or three—then I am able to confidently step out of the bucket and keep walking forward. I didn’t say it was easy, but behaviors can change. Stuff happens. It’s our response to it that makes the difference for us and others. We do have the ability to change.
The “not jumping up and down” were the keys to my sanity and serenity.
The other thing Dossie always said was, “There’s nothing in my life, no situation that I find myself in—that a drink won’t make worse!”
When you would ask her how she’s doing that day, her answer was always the same, “Never better.”
At the end of the meeting when we held hands, said the Lord’s Prayer and then we’d say aloud, “Keep coming back, it works!” Instead, Dossie always said rather loudly,
“Keep coming back, I NEED YOU!”
Today, I am jumping up and down less.
Today, I am praying I might be somebody else’s angel, like Dossie.
Keep coming back, I need you!
“Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. 7 And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.”
Philippians 4:6-7
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